Mom’s Amazon Review of Kids Toys

My Amazon Review for “Mochi Squishies Squishy Toys Squeeze Random Animals Stress Toy Kawaii Squishies by Shovan, 30 …

posted by Susanne Kerns – Writer to Monday, May 21, 2018

Susanne Kerns, a writer and mother of two from Texas, recently wrote on mother of all reviews on Amazon (on his Facebook), and we seriously can’t stop laughing. It all started when she bought a Pack of 30 Mochi Squishies Squishy Toys for her son’s “End of School Treasure Box”, and yes, she certainly gets her money’s worth.

She decided to take the time to write a full review of the toys in question if only to give other parents a good laugh.

Dear Amazon,

I recently purchased your MSSTSRASTKSbS30P (aka Mochi Squishy Animal Stress Toys) for my son’s “End of School” treasure box. As always, I relied solely on all of your completely legitimate product reviews to make my final purchasing decision. Of course, I kind of suspected that all of the reviews were five star, in broken English, and submitted within the last month, but I was sold by Sunny’s review that I was “worried that the smell is too strong “but discovering that she” the worries were superfluous “after receiving them. If they pass Sunny’s sniff test, then that’s enough for me!

The mother went ahead with her order, and as soon as the package arrived her 12-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son were quick to investigate – that’s when the hilarity subsided. ensued.

“” IT IS A penis! It even SEEMS like a penis! THIS IS HILARIANT! CAN I KEEP IT ?! “”

After sorting out the 30 little squishies, Susanne told her kids that they could each keep one for themselves. They admired the adorable kittens, adorable pandas and adorable little pigs before meeting one who absoutely did not look like your ordinary pet.

“And then there was a pause. “What animal is this, mom? “Hmmmmm … I believe the A in MSSTSRASTKSbS30P stands for ANIMAL, but kids, I’m pretty sure It’s a P, like in the penis.”

Obviously her son had a field day with the news: “‘IT’S a penis! It even SEEMS like a penis! IT’S HILARIANT! CAN I KEEP IT ?!”

“No, you can’t keep it, it’s not appropriate,” Susanne told her son. “Instead, Mom is going to put it here on her desk next to her Christmas Story floor lamp. And under NO CIRCUMSTANCES, with the threat of losing your Nintendo Switch for the whole summer, will you let everyone know in your class store who buys an MSSTSRASTKSbS30P with their hard earned credits you have a home spongy that looks and feels like a penis. ”

But Suzanne knows how much children love to chat, so she plans to cut her losses.

“And this is the story of this Friday, the 1,100 children at my son’s school will know me as” the mom who has a toy that looks like a penis “and no parent will allow their children to come and play on dates never again. ”

Overall, Susanne gave the product five stars – or eggplant emoji, hardy har! – and we have to commend his sense of humor.

From a material standpoint, they are spongy, like magic little marshmallows that will no doubt result in an emergency visit to the vet when my dog ​​eats one. In related news, they attract pet fur like a mo-fo. They are easy to clean, unless it’s the penis, which makes you feel like a dirty old lady when you soap it up, so it will stay sticky with dirt forever, in more ways than one.

In a hilarious update, Suzanne says she made peace with her new penis-shaped boyfriend and even joined a social media group in his honor.

“I have confirmation of what we all already knew. This thing is definitely a penis. The woman who confirmed it even has a Facebook group with almost 7,000 members called ‘THE ADVENTURES OF DINGDING’, which reinforces my plan to put on a Lego hat. mine and give it a name. ”

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